I am 20 years old today.
10 Things That Haven't Changed About Me in 20 years of Living:
1) If given the opportunity to use play dough, not only will I remain occupied for a good solid hour, but I WILL make you a play dough spaghetti masterpiece.
2) When going to the library or a book store, I still spend copious amounts of time in the children's section.
3) I think there is a definite chance that some boys still - and always will - have cooties.
4) I like to listen to people speak.
5) I sing or hum in every shower or moving vehicle... and a lot of places in between.
6) I'm afraid of sharks and snakes.
7) I'd rather chill with my Mama than play barbies with you.
8) I think building forts in the living room or inside your college dorm is perfectly acceptable. Flashlights should be included. Christmas lights are preferred.
9) I still write letters to God.
10) l day dream about building a fan-freaking-tastic tree house in my backyard.
10 Things That Have Changed:
1) I like myself so much better than I used to. I'm starting to finally be happy with who I am and who I will be.
2) I like tomatoes. HATED them before this trip. And now I can eat whole slices.
3) I know how to make an entire book all by myself!
4) I can navigate on planes and trains and buses. I can plan trips. I can see the world. Because I choose to do so.
5) I work a lot harder than I used to at the things I love most. It isn't enough to just want to do something.....you have to know why you're doing it to really feel it....and then you have to apply yourself. The 'why' has become so much clearer and because of that...so has the drive to work.
6) There is a good chance I might be becoming a good cook. Gasp.
7) My art has changed a lot. My focus is different yet familiar all at once. I'm less and less afraid of what people might think. I just need to create.
8) I have a backbone and a voice. They've replaced the doormat I used to be.
9) I have more faith in the world and its possibility for beauty and love.
10) I can vote.
Today has been a rather uneventful birthday, which has been pretty okay with me. I like simple things. I won't lie and tell you I wasn't lonely today though. It's not really my birthday until I can hug my family and someone sings me a song. Any song. I tried to make it special. I made fried eggplant and pasta with meat sauce all by myself!
And then I ate it all by myself in an empty kitchen.
Wow.
But hey, its my party and I can cry if I want to. At least for a little bit. No worries though, tonight I'm going out. I'll be heading to my favorite live music spot across the Ponte Vecchio. Music always makes me feel better. And tomorrow, to celebrate in what is becoming my usual fashion, I have an appointment with a very nice man named Giulio at the nearest tattoo parlor. Yay!
This week has been rainy and grey, but lately I can't see anything but color. We've been given a chance to use the studios to create whatever we want/feel/think. With only a few more weeks until the student show, we are just banging out more and more work. It's such an beautiful thing to completely disregard the hours that fly by while you pour yourself into whatever is in front of you. I can't stop working. It's magic.
This week alone I've been extra busy. And this is just the tip of the iceberg. I have so many things I need to get down on paper. Hopefully something good will come out of the mess in my head. So far, I can't do anything but embrace the chaos. A little mess has always been good for me. :)
Here is my space lately:
gahhhh lovely mess.
And I'd just like to say thank you to everyone who sent me well wishes today. You made me feel like I'm not quite so far from home. Made me feel absolutely loved. Thank you thank you thank you. :)
I love you.
Love Always,
Hayden Elizabeth
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