ci vediamo

Hello again,

It certainly has been a while.  Life has picked up again and routine has returned.  I'm still finding my way back here in the states.  So much has changed in me that I can't possibly see or feel things the way I used to.  There is good and bad in this, just as there is good and bad in everything.  But I am always looking for the good :)

This post will be my final post on Embark.  It's sort of sad.  It seems as though the adventure is over.  But it is soooooooo not.  I'll be revisiting this blog over and over again to remember.  When I'm missing Italy, this is where I'll be.

For those of you who have been reading...I'm SO thankful that you did.  I never expected anyone to follow along, but since I've been home so many people have talked to me about the blog, about the trip...I couldn't believe it.

I've taken to a new sort of online hobby.... tumblrrrrrrrrrrrr.  Basically a place for me to collect images, references images, color palettes, thoughts, words, things, oddities....anything that inspires me.  It's a place for me to sort of build my own visual philosophy and stay inspired as an artist and also...just as a human being.  If you are interested my site is:

www.the-spinning-stairs.tumblr.com

Be warned, this site was not made with the purpose of staying in touch with my family from long distances....this site is just for me and anyone who digs it.  Its not always going to be PG. Such is life.  But you are more than welcome to it.  :)

I hope wherever you are and whatever you are doing...today finds you happy and fulfilled.
Thank you so much for sticking with me!

I love you

Love, Hayden Elizabeth

resolutions.

Well, Happy New Year, everyone :)

It has been just under two weeks since I made it home from Italy.  I can't believe it.  I'm still swallowing it.  Everything is different and yet perfectly familiar at the same time.  Home hasn't changed too much, but I have.

"Home is not where you live, but where they understand you."
- Christian Morganstern

So true.  Thank God for a family that GETS me!!!

There is sort of a bittersweetness that comes with being home.  Everything that has ever been my comfort is within arms reach again - my family, my friends, my own bed, my dog, food in the fridge, working heat...even just being in my own room is like a big sigh of relief.  I am loving my home with new eyes.

...But I haven't picked up a pencil since I've been home.  Not yet.

What I'm coming to realize is that inspiration doesn't just hit you.  You have to go out and find it.  Sometimes it feels divine...but mostly - its ALWAYS an every day challenge.  In Italy, it was easy.  Everything I saw was new, influential, motivating.  Now I'm in a place where everything is so comfortable and familiar again.  While that is a beautiful feeling to cherish after being away from it for so long...I think it's time to start the search again.  It's time to make home feel as new and different as I do.  Time for some new energy.

Perfect time to start a new year.

My new years resolution:  Don't get comfortable.

I mean a lot of things by this.  I'm not talking about the kind of comfort you might feel when your mom hugs you, or when you eat comfort food, or watch that one movie you've always had a soft spot for.  Those are beautiful things that should be enjoyed and never taken for granted.

I'm talking about the kind of comfort that comes with routine negligence for the world around us.  I'm talking about how easy it is to sleep walk through living.  How easy it would be to close my eyes and ears to the things that might hurt me...while pretending I'm not missing the music at the same time.  I'm talking about ignorant bliss, white and black, the absence of a grey area, cookie cutter living, the laziness of the mind....don't get comfortable.

There is no room to experience the world while coloring within the lines.  I've seen plenty of beautiful paint by numbers...but where are the questions in that?  And where is the journey to an answer?  A self truth?

This year I am challenging myself to challenge myself.  All the time.  Ask questions, take risks, draw upside down, find the unique, embrace the oddities, create more, do the right thing instead of the easy thing, help people more, volunteer more, give more, explore more!  There is no reason I have to stop adventuring just because I'm home.  People ask me if I'm going to get bored now that I'm back....and my answer is: not if I can help it.  :)

I'm sending love to everyone this new year.  Sometimes it is SO perfect to start back at zero.

Peace <3

~Hayden